time really does fly, and I can’t stop it.

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People always tell you, “time flies, so enjoy it” and as rookie parents we always seem to brush it off with a yeah yeah…that’s what they all say. Well now I’m eating my words because somehow within this last week or two it’s hit me like a ton of bricks that time really is flying by, so fast that I’ve barely been able to notice. It seem like just a day ago I was still pregnant, large and swollen, just waiting to meet my son, and now he’s 10 weeks old and I can’t even think of where the time has gone. It doesn’t help that he was born in October, the beginning of the holiday season.

The other day my husband said, “Some day he’s going to find someone that he connects with better than us.” That killed me, because all of the sudden it made me feel like time really is so fleeting and I can’t do a damn thing to stop it. Today, I feel like before I know it I’m going to have a teenager who doesn’t want to cuddle or need me for anything anymore. I suddenly have these mixed emotions of both excitement and sadness for Harland to grow up. I can’t wait to see the person he turns into, but at the same time it makes me so sad to know that all of this will be a distant memory some day preserved through pictures and videos and maybe this blog. Suddenly I feel like I need to document everything from a burp, to a stretch, to a smile and a coo, because some day it will be hard to remember, and I really want to remember.

Today my little boy is 10 weeks old and it breaks my heart a little. Obviously I’m more excited and in awe to be the lucky mama who gets to watch him grow, but I’m not going to lie that some days it’s harder to handle the reality of time.

At 10 weeks so much has happened, so much has changed, and I feel like a new little switch has turn on in Harland’s brain. He’s fixated on his hands and fingers, staring at them and watching them..when he’s not shoving them in his mouth. He’s talking so much I’m having a hard time even remembering when it all started because it feels like he’s always been able to coo and caa and gurgle. The changing table is his favorite place for a conversation and we could be there for hours just talking to each other in his little language with an occasional smile breaking free and stretching from ear to ear. Those SMILES. he’s been teasing us with a few here and there for a while, but we were still unsure if it was gas or not until recently and now each morning we are greeted with the best smiles and babbles from Harland. He makes every morning better now that he can actually look into our eyes, smile and say “Good morning” in his own little language. It’s amazing. A month ago he could barely hold his head up or see us, and now he’s looking from side to side, trying to sit up, and tracking our every moves with those big beautiful eyes.

Not until a few days ago when I watched him fixate on a pillow with cacti on it and try to touch them did I realize the progress he’s made, and now I can’t stop seeing all of his little subtle changes. His pinching with his fingers, his deep stares into my eyes.. or for some reason the ceiling fan, his vocal stylings letting me know what he needs or if he’s upset, and his newest addition…teething and chewing on everything he can get his chubby hands on. It’s amazing. Now I look back at pictures from the week he was born vs. now and the differences make me want to freeze time so that I can carefully observe and enjoy it all, but alas time keeps moving, and I can’t do a damn thing to stop it.

Even though I feel like this post is a little more on the sad side, it still comes from a place of happiness and excitement to be a mom and be able to watch an newborn become a real little tiny person with his own personality to match. The smiles are melting my heart and I can’t wait for those giggles to start!

Two months looks good on you little bub!

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