The holiday’s have always made me feel like I’ve been hit by a train..a large train with relatives and presents piled up and falling out. This time of year is crazy and overstimulating for most of us I think? But this year doing it with a kid…I’ve realized the whole game has changed. It’s no longer about buying myself those shoes on sale, or that jacket I’ve been eyeing while I shop for gifts. It isn’t about going to the movies on a whim, or drinking every day to cope with the constant interactions with distant family members and hilariously inappropriate creepy uncles. All of this has changed because now it’s about selflessly and gladly throwing myself in front of the train so my tiny human creation doesn’t get hit. The holiday parties and family gatherings consist of three thoughts now:
1. Where is my child?
2. Is he alive?
3. Is he in distress?
No more, where’s the wine to feel that nice buzz as long as possible? or staying up until the wee hours of the morning carelessly. Now my only focus is on a bed time and LOTS of sleep so that demon baby stays away, preparing for diaper explosion damage control, keeping a hungry little tummy full, and recognizing when mama’s soothing touch is needed in the midst of all of the craziness and continuous game of pass the baby, BUT… I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I love this time of year for a different reason now.
As a fresh off the boat mom with an infant, the holiday’s hold a new kind of magical chaos and less of the consumeristic variety that’s previously trapped so much of my time (and money). I’m sure by next year when my son is older this will all be different yet again, because he’ll want toys and such, but for now I’m enjoying that the chaos of this holiday season is built around making sure my little booger bug is happy as a clam as he stares at the christmas lights or into the eyes of his family members he’s meeting for the first time. Suddenly this time of year is about creating traditions and memories with my crazy little family unit that we will be able to share for years to come instead of past traditions such as excessive consumption of alcohol and food as a key holiday survival tactic.
Things are different this year, and I love it. Not to mention the amazing photos that come out of the tired, happy, sleepy life that is the holiday season with a new born.
Now for New Years…Goal is to see if we stay awake past 10, the odds are not in our favor.
Happy holiday’s everyone!